i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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