the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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