YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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