Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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