if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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