oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
