he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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