I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize