trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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