i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
