he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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