yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
