I got chris browned last night
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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