this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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