My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
