you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
