i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
only you would photoshop your dick
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
