But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
