Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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