No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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