I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
