Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
