I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so explain again why im purple
no
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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