Welp...herpes.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You are the jesus of drinking
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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