? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
