it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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