at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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