whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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