I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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