By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
