You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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