come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
