Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
