i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
