If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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