I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
