I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
