32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
