Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
