i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
