How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
