O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
