OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
