I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i may or may not be watching the land before time
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
