when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
