Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
