"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
