if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
