i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
