Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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