U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
