Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize