The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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