He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
