Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
