How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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