just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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