it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I can't turn off my feet"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
