The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
