What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
