Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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