Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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