whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Found your dick twin last night
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
