It's just like the Real World with babies
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
