How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
