turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
